Maybe you’ve spent some time learning about attachment styles and, for the most part, secure attachment feels like it fits. You like being close to your partner. You can enjoy time apart without immediately worrying about the relationship. You can talk about what you need, work through conflict, and trust that one difficult moment doesn’t mean everything is falling apart. But then there are these other moments. Your partner asks what’s wrong, and you say, “I’m fine,” even though you know you...

If you’ve been diving into attachment styles, you’re either an attachment nerd like me, or your relationships don’t quite feel the way you want them to. You might feel anxious or nervous when your partner goes quiet. You might have a hard time when your partner shares a concern or brings up an issue, worrying that you’re missing the mark again. You might even resonate with both of those experiences. Your relationships can feel really good when things are good, but really disconnecting when...

Your partner tells you they aren't upset. They reassure you that nothing has changed. They love you. Everything between you is okay. And you believe them. You might even feel your body settle a little. Then something happens. Their text is shorter than usual. They seem distracted. Their tone sounds different. And suddenly the reassurance you received earlier doesn't feel quite as convincing anymore. Are they sure they're not upset? Did something change? Should I ask again? If this feels...